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joel sison think about this
"There are somethings that are nothing more than what they are. They're not meant to last. They just take their place in your heart and make you a little smarter the next time." -Alex and Emma use that mouse
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(c) 2006
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Wednesday, March 28, 2007
anything related to the word examination makes me super paranoid. licensure exams, medical exams, driving test, drug test, final exams.. whatever. but the medical technician who extracted blood from me is soo amiable (ya, sarcasm is one service i am good at.), panic was not option this morning. me: gaano karami kukunin sakin? med tech: mga 3 cc. (walang ngiti or eye contact yan ha.) me: pwede bang himatayin? (of course, i wasnt really going to faint. i was just trying to divert paranoia and nervousness.) med tech: .... NR. not even a glance or smile. and then silence... i went to the gym after. but then it was too late when i realized i forgot to bring rubber shoes. thats how paralyzed i could get when the word exam is in my thoughts. when i took the International English Language Testing System or IELTS last February 24 (now you know another reason why i wasnt visible in cyberspace for another century), my brother knew i was considering to run away. so he went to Edsa Shangrila Hotel to accompany me. he did not actually leave until he saw me enter the testing room. "sige na, iwan mo na ko," i instructed him. but he refused, "pumasok ka na muna. baka tumakbo ka eh." my brother knows me so well. he could probably be my best friend. panu pa kaya yung mga kasali sa American Idol? if i was one of the contestants, my blood pressure could go as high as 300/250. unlike sanjaya who seems pretty confident despite his ___ . see, theres not even an appropriate word for him. as simon put it, he has his own universe that it doesnt even matter what the judges say.. what makes me think my words would even matter? geez.. Bone painted the world at 8:18 PM |
Monday, March 26, 2007
im not much into fashion and trends. my clothes are almost never sunod sa uso. in fact, i am what you can call baduy or jologs. but when the twiggy type of jeans was revived, i thought it was classy and classic. and i couldnt say no to that. after paying for my next pair of skinny jeans, i was ready to go home (after strolling for about 5hours). but then, a trenchcoat called my attention so i tried it on. me: oh my god. i love it! dad: magkano?? kunin mo na. me: fits me so well. first time. dad: oh basta wag ka na babalik dito. me: (thinking he was referring to the uber crowded shopping centre.) oo. then my dad turned his back and cried. only then did i realize that he was referring to the philippines. my emotional father. it was really an awkward moment. one time my brother teased me: "alam mo kahit na sobrang talino mo, minsan ang tanga tanga mo." we just laughed so hard. but know what.. he is totally right! someone just shoot me, please. Bone painted the world at 1:36 AM |
Friday, March 23, 2007
after waiting eternally in front of the computer, here comes a new (and probably long) entry. last weekend was spent in Ifugao and to my surprise, i willingly paid Php10.00 for a Php7.00 worth of tabloid. right then and there i realized that crossword puzzles are my addiction. i have been hibernating (which is nothing new) from my friends and acquaintances for quite a long time. been consistently absent from all the parties, dinner and lunch dates i have been invited to for two reasons: one is that i no longer dig long drives much more the terrible traffic in metro, and two: i feel im at my ugliest these days. yes, i am once again a walking big zit. but as i was eating lunch somewhere in manila while waiting for the NBI office to open, i accidentally saw one of my best friends whom i havent seen for ages. what are the chances?! she was crying days before that and telling me we really have to see each other. so at least she'll have someone sensible to talk to. but then its inconvenient for both of us. i mean, i live in marikina. she lives somewhere near e. rodriguez and works in makati. but there in manila, far from both our own territories, we saw each other without even planning it. sometimes you find yourself in a place without clearly understanding why you are standing there but then some thing happens and you realize that somehow you are exactly where you're supposed to be. does that ever happen to you? last night i got a call from my friend, Andrea. she asked how ive been doing lately and as i was narrating my boring and blurry life (if you can even call it a life), she interrupted me. "wait, parang nagbago ka.. ayun! maarte ka ngayon!" she lives in Forbes, Makati.. meaning she herself is coño and maarte (but i love her to bits!) so its really funny how she even noticed my being maarte last night. "eh kasi maarte yung kausap ko," i replied. but deep inside i was wondering whether she also recognized my accent. i wasnt aware of it too until some bitch said it outloud. "alam mo pataas yun intonation mo. parang american high school. parang there's this one time..( while she tried too hard to mimic american pie).. my twitch sa dulo. please be natural." if only i ran out of patience at that time, i could have answered back "sorry, eto ang natural ko. marunong akong mag-english! f*ck you." speaking of Andrea, she's turning 25 tomorrow and is throwing a birthday bash tonight. she's been trying to pimp me and hook me up with her guy friends. but i expect you already guessed where i would be later. yes, more or less, i'll be in my blue room thinking of my future. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, REA! Labels: the color of my life Bone painted the world at 1:40 AM|
Monday, March 12, 2007
finally, i am updating. its been really annoying how i always ended up in vain each time i attempted to log in. i thought it was the computer or something. or that i forgot my username or password. only to find out a few minutes ago that it was just my plain stupidity. my spelling is also deteriorating. this is what you get when you're jobless or out of school for almost a year. so beware, all ya bums out there! but i came up with an excuse. i only use my brain slightly so that its price wont depreciate as much just in case i plan on selling it. in fairness, i dont think all bums are a lazy ass. sometimes people leave school out of necessity or they remain unemployed for a long time because luck is not on their side. but for me, id like to think its a different kind of story. i am where i am am today because this is exactly where God wants me to be. but its not easy living like this. most of the time, i have to close my eyes and pray for strength and trust. there are also times when i feel like im running out of stock but He is good. He Himself holds my hands each time i get tired of holding on to my faith. since i am what you can call a couch potato (except in the mornings during which i go to the gym to work out and read all sorts of newspapers), i try to entertain myself with shows on the telly for as long as my eyes aren't hurting. this is so new to me since i was never a fan of long hours of watching tv. there's AI (i am surprised and pissed that sanjaya is still there), national geographic, ANC, and cartoons. its also amusing to tune in to BBC sometimes. ive never done that before because for me, brit accents translated sentences to blah blah blah. but true, things change and my taste for current events delivered in an english accent is not an exemption. moreover, i think ive somehow given up my weekly trips to the theatres and dermatologist as i neither have salary nor allowance. that means im no longer updated as far as movies are concerned and that the zits are back. the ultimate pleasure i probably had since i got back is the chocolate mousse my brother bought me or the fishing activity i had with my little cousins a month ago or so. whichever sounds more fun to you if they are fun at all. but i still consider myself lucky. coz at least i only have myself to support. i dont have a family to feed, shelter, or send to school. if anything, my only responsibility to others is to love the people around me. Bone painted the world at 1:05 AM | |
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because if you choose silence, people take advantage of you.
because if you dont speak, they will tell lies. because if you dont care and simply live life, they make up stories. because if you are loved, others will bring you down.
sometimes, you need a place you can call your own. where all you see and hear is the truth. a place where you see colors instead of just black&white. a happy place. home.
