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joel sison think about this
"There are somethings that are nothing more than what they are. They're not meant to last. They just take their place in your heart and make you a little smarter the next time." -Alex and Emma use that mouse
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(c) 2006
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Monday, February 28, 2005
I can't believe i am buying Lemony Snicket's style-- reverse psychology. Although I haven't read any of his books, I believe I already know just how this agitated/aggravated (but who cares?) author writes. I've watched Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events a while ago.. and at the beginning, Jude Law (he's so hot!), who portrays the author warns the viewers that the movie is not about a happy elf and that there was still enough time for them to leave the cinema and watch another movie about a happy elf instead. Of course, the viewers, even after hearing these warnings, the people did not leave the movie house. First, they (or should i say, we?) went there to see the series of unfortunate events and what it is really all about. Second, Mr. Snicket's warnings just made us even more intrigued and excited about the movie. But of course, that is exactly what Mr. Snicket was trying to do -- put more intrigue and excitement. At home, i checked lemonysnicket.com and geez... it's all the same.. so full of bitter words and "leave this site" messages or anything of the same sort.. but what they actually mean is, "keep browsing this site." again, reverse psychology. dearie.. i didn't think that still works.. and that i am buying such style. Yes, i enjoyed the movie.. and it just makes me all the more curious learning that the movie is actually based on 3 Series of Unfortunate Events books: the bad beginning, the reptile room and the wide window. So now, these books already have a box set --A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Trouble Begins. I think I am going to need to have at least one of Mr. Snicket's books. I've read that all his books are dedicated to some Beatrice.. hmm... who could she be?? I might even have to buy, borrow, or maybe steal Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography by Lemony Snicket and Brett Helquist. I am really intrigued and captivated by this Lemony Snicket and want to read and learn more about him... There are lots of questions that i want to be answered! Plus, i am convinced that Mr. Snicket is funny. But of course, for now, i can just settle for more Jude Law flicks. haha. It's really good seeing him everywhere -- the aviator.. series of unfortunate events... closer (it may not be the story of my life but it still feels so real..) and of course, my desktop.. haha. Sometimes i wish that life could be just about nothing but books and movies.. just that.. Bone painted the world at 1:30 AM |
Friday, February 25, 2005
yes.. that's what ive realized as i was browsing through other's blogs.. damn, i feel so.. umm.. i can't find the right term for now.. basta! i need to improve my composition skills or whatever you call it.. i even think my title whatsoever is a total rip off.. and mostly, i think i've been writing too much nonsense.. i always speak about myself.. my life.. my experience.. what the f*ck! i could have discussed more serious matters.. issues that are more relevant.. more apt for my age? for our society?? ooh, ive found the right term.. now, i can finish THE statement.. i feel such a crap. (the voice of Bombay calling me "useful citizen" reverberates.) but is it really demeaning to convey how i have felt on a particular event that transpired during my existence? is it really of poor standard to speak of how little things concern me? if the answer is yes, then perhaps HONESTY is no longer of important value. hmm... perhaps, im just feeling a little (okay, not just little) shaky having read what others have entered in their blogs.. but that's exactly my point! why am i wobbly??! why do these blog thingies make me feel inferior? perhaps, i am just tired... i read too much.. i talk too much.. i too much... that's it! there's too much i's... i am crappy. Bone painted the world at 4:31 AM |
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
things that i learned/realized today.... 1. don't... uhmm... no, NEVER panic. a while ago, i did panic.. and i was not able to think well.. didn't know what to do.. and until now, i still cant calm myself.. dang! 2. stay humble. when you're humble, there will always be some people who will be more than willing to help you in times of trouble. a while ago, i got really fucked up.. as in! but people were so nice. they helped me and didn't leave me until everything was okay. 3. always load up! haha. good thing i have credits... i was able to call up my dad and inform him about my traumatic experience.. so he sent some people to help me and fix my monster truck. 4. love your family. because they love you. and they will always be there no matter what. today, even if my father was far away, he was able to help me out through sending some people... and when i got home, my brother eagerly listened about what happened to me and watched me calm down.. 5. love your friends. they're like your family outside your home. 6. treasure your business cards. before, i was so begging my friends to get all of my calling cards.. coz i thought i'll never be needing them.. but i was wrong.. so damn wrong. i gave out one a while ago.. talk about emergency situations.. hehe plus, i was able to build up myself with my business card huh.. why not?! i had all my credentials implied on it.. la salle.. org pres.. haha.. (oh no. remember realiztion #2) 7. converse with Him. wala lang.. i just like talking with Him. He listens.. and if it is really meant, He gives you what you want.. but definitely, He answers your needs... hmm.. i think. 8. i am physically tired. hence, i often want to die.. but only for a moment.. just to rest or something. now, you can start calling me crazy.. Bone painted the world at 10:52 PM |
Sunday, February 13, 2005
 i so want a doctor... ahh! cuteness. 
Bone painted the world at 7:11 AM|
Saturday, February 12, 2005
haha.. this is like my second time to feel this.. the first time is when i met my friend's bf who is an MD.. and this time??? ahh.. Reggieboy chickboy! ha! he's not a doctor yet.. but a senior intern.. and we got to work with him today.. that's why even if i am really, as in REALLY tired, i feel like my shift so bitin.. it's so nice to look at him.. hehe. hey! when i say 'look at him,' that doesn't mean it involves sexual fantasies whatsoever.. it's pure admiration minus the lust! so why am i über-tired?? coz i was standing practically the whole day! and this is not an exaggeration! i also got to assist during an operation. yep, it was my first time. buti na lang, i didn't get super nervous, otherwise, i'd be super taranta and for sure, i'd totally forget everything especially the instruments.. OMG.. thank God talaga that i was able to remember them all.. from self whatever to bladder retractor to towel clip to... LAHAT!! i am so proud and happy.. honestly, i've never felt this when i was still in La Salle.. coz there, parang every experience are kind of the same lang.. hay nako. again, this day is sooo bitin. Bone painted the world at 11:11 PM |
 'nars'
Bone painted the world at 6:57 AM|
Sunday, February 06, 2005
despite being totally stressed out (damn. thesis is killing me!), i still went to anj's despidida party... it was nice to see anj again.. after what?? a millenium? hayy.. michelle mara and reg w. was there. ayun. and we noticed that anj is like our "connects" the three of us all the time.. corky was also present in spite of her laryngitis.. i did not have fun that much (oops! sorry..) ONLY because i couldn't take my mind off of my thesis.. and not for anything else. okay, so angel and angela are going to tag along vivs.. in NY.. then tin's gonna go there sometime on march. im chatting with gc right now.. who is also abroad. yikes! she is asking me to log off so i can continue working on my thesis.. i am so dead. i haven't thought of a framework yet.. and tomorrow's the deadlien. holy sh@t! my bro's gonna leave for the states (and this time, its for good) on may i think.. argh. i am so missing america. Bone painted the world at 8:11 PM |
Saturday, February 05, 2005
this entry should have been posted yesterday. of course, i could have just changed the date below. but i don't want to 'cause i want this blog to be as genuine as possible. so what about yesterday? hmm.. i happily drove myself to the Quezon City General Hospital.. but when i got there, i was pissed to see some people whom i usually don't like hanging out with.. for some reason, of course. so there, we were oriented by... err, i don't remember her name. and then finally, we got to meet Mr. Fermoso. we thought we would be able to handle cases yesterday but we were in vain. we did not ensue with our duties. we were asked to return today, instead. our group was divided into two -- vhins' group and bone's group (my group). we were obliged to report at 6 in the morning. as soon as we were dismissed, i hurried home. it was my brother's graduation day. and noone was available to accompany my dad.. but since my duty was cancelled and my furious driving was a success, i was able to go with him at the PICC Plenary Hall and was able to watch my brother receive his diploma -- which turned out to be just a souvenir paper of the nth commencement rite of the mapua institute of technology and mapua information tchnology center. after the ceremonies, we intended to head back home ASAP. no plans for dinner whatsoever since my other brother was not with us then. but the traffic was really horrible so dad decided to take a detour and eat somewhere. it was nothing fancy. we ate at Saisaki. i was so hungry at that time so an eat-all-you-can treat was very much appreciated. as the responsible citizens that we really are (ehem!), my group arrived before the said call time. could you guess what time our CI arrived?? say.. uhm.. around 9 am. it's okay though. we did a lot of work today. mine was a case of a CVA patient. the right side of his body was paralyzed.. hopefully, it is only temporary. i mean, my dad had the same case (well, almost), and he was able to recover (he had no choice!). while attending to my patient, i couldn't help but be reminded of my dad. however, unlike my dad, the patient is unable to talk at all. and there must be something wrong with his eyes, vision or optic nerve or something. 'cause when asked to follow the penlight using his eyes, the patient failed to do so. i wish his situation would improve soon. and i hope that when he recovers and finally gets out of the hospital, he would religiously eat low sodium and low cholesterol foods and totally stop smoking and drinking. argh! i hate my dad for not being able to quit drinking. he wouldn't listen to me. i love him and i don't want anything bad to happen to him.. most of all, i am not ready to lose a father who has been a mother to me, too, for almost my entire life. (i do love my mom!) oh, and i had a call from corky when i was still in the hospital.. she's sick and it is porbably a case of laryngitis. hopefully not. she's really sad at the moment 'cause angela and angel are leaving on monday to the states and if they're lucky, they're gonna be staying there for good. of course, viv, who is already there in NY, is thrilled. the 3 of them will be living together, i guess. i bought viv a bra from herbench -- she likes the padded brassieres of herbench -- and also a pack of choco mocha cup cakes. she used to buy those cakes and loved them when we were still living together. Rm. 705 Providence Tower -- what a memorable place. i also made letters for viv and anj.. for angel? nah. we aint tight. anyways.. here i am again doing the what i do best-- PROCRASTINATING! agh! i have a going-away party to attend tomorrow (angela's) and i have to submit the first 3 chapters of my thesis on monday. i need loads of good lucks! seriously. i think this means that i gotta go.... (oh no, im sleepy.. i might end up sleeping again instead of working on my thesis. shit.) Bone painted the world at 9:48 PM |
Thursday, February 03, 2005
hayy.. i need to go to Quezon City General Hospital today... but i don't know where exactly it is located. this means i'll be borrowing dad's good driver to bring me there. huh. promise, i'll try to remember the roads that we'll be passing through later on our way there. so next time, im gonna be pushing my own wheels without the worry of being lost or something. i wish they have a huge parking space there. im not good with parking yet. i don't know why i just cant master that. again,,, i want to go to magic mountain. if only time aint a luxury. oh. dad's already home for lunch.. gotta run. be back later. Bone painted the world at 2:04 PM |
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
i was listening to the radio on my way home (yes! travel time was less than an hour -- miracle) and the disc jockeys were asking the listeners whether or not we are in favor of the thing (or should i say action?) called public display of affection.. its really kind of bizarre 'cause we were just talking about it too a while ago when i was with my friends... so anyways... one of the jockeys said she loves seeing old people doing PDA.. then i remembered my grandparents (father side). when they're not arguing, it's really nice to watch them.. especially while they're watching the television together. they wouldn't talk to each other but they would hold hands forever. everytime i see them like that, it just makes me smile and think wow. that must be real love. wala lang.. i miss my papang and mamang... and i miss seeing true love through them and their simple gestures. "it's so wrong to love just one person..." oh. don't mind me. i'm thinking of someone and that's how i feel. i read an interview with Dra. Belo before and she said that. so true! i agree. 'cause just when i learned to stick to just one person, it really fucked up. argh. love. ha! why is it so hard on me? haha. no, please. i don't want to be reminded of valentine's day. i am not being bitter. it's just that it will surely emanate tremendous traffic jam. it will surely be congested everywhere. and i'm going to hate it. and then i will be seeing couples in every corner which will just serve as an aide memoire that everyone else is celebrating love while i will be stuck in traffic. how will i be able to escape such catastrophe?? am i being obvious?? yes. i am such a whiner. i don't deny that. i never did. just for the record, i am happy. it's just that...... TRAFFIC! ugh! such a hassle. waste of time. maybe it is the work of the devil. it's like the grinch who stole christmas but in this case, it is going to be the grinch who ruined bone's valentine's day. haha. i'm being crazy. hmmm.. i wonder when am i going to hear from alia??? i miss her... i miss everyone. ano ba yan. kasi naman, i am so stressed. i really want to go back to Ca now. i want frech air. i need to unwind. but for now, timezone will do. but i just went there yesterday??? ugh! i want to go to magic mountain instead.. i'm just dreaming. Bone painted the world at 10:47 PM |
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
aside from the fact that that stupid sponge who appreciates small things really makes my day.. the yellow guy makes me smile because that person said he's gonna give me a spongebob-thingy.. i don't know what it is exactly but just the thought makes me smile.. and yes, happy (bone, admit it!). i've been trying to be honest as i can. i saw the Garden State and Ms. Portman's character really amuses me -- the young and maybe innocent girl who can't help but not tell the truth most of the time. i realized that people are like that.. somehow, i am like that -- a liar! i hate liars though. they really annoy me. ah! it makes me feel betrayed and hurt.. i remember when that person lied to me like a hundred times.. it brought me so much pain. and each day i asked God why.. i felt as if He lied to me. i began to ask why He made me think that everyone has good and pure heart. and i started regretting all the thank you's i gave Him for bringing that person in my life. but singlehood made me discover a lot of things about myself.. about my life.. things i might have not discovered had i forced that relationship. i realized how blessed i am. for one, i have a loving family. despite the usual feuds, we still remain in tact and all. i also have great friends. although at times we are kept apart either by distance or by our "own" things, they are still there for me 100%. we remain to be friends. i realized that although it has been quite unfortunate for me to get hurt big time by that person, i am still blessed. my so-called misfortune is very well compensated. i have no right to complain. and that is what dad usually tells me. count your blessings. that's what he said dec 31 of last year. that is so true. God is so good to me... to us! when the pain was still fresh, i kept on asking Him why, why this, or why me. but now, bahala na Sya. He knows what's best for me. Before, i always thought hindi ako malakas sa Kanya. but a while ago, i almost got lost on my way home.. i was so alone (at night!) but i wasn't scared. i talked to Him and asked Him to lead me.. and i got home fast, safe and sound. and i said to myself: God, that was a quick response. then i remember what i would always tell him when the traffic is terrible (oh god please don't do this to me..) and then vehicles would suddenly start moving. i would smile and think that it's like a modern-day-parting-of-the-red-sea. haha. funny huh? but my point is, all along i thought He doesn't asnwer my prayers but he does! He really does. But sometimes, it takes time.. probably, He's just looking for the right timing. or maybe, it won't bring good to us. even though i had bombarded Him with nothing but selfish questions, i hoped (notice the emphasis on the past tense) that one day that person would realize that he was bad, that one day he'd say sorry and mean it, and that the nice him would be awakened. no, i didn't want him to be good for me.. i wanted him to be better so that when the next girl comes along, she wouldn't experience the pain i had suffered.. and i think that that day has arrived. at first, i doubted. but i recalled how much i prayed for it. although it took time, He did answer my prayer. Malakas pala ako sa kanya! and so, i thought it's unfair for me to question Him again. i accepted his response to my prayer. and i am happy.. actually, happier. =) i am not being holier-than-thou... oh please... i don't even go to church regularly.. but this is how God is working for me.. and having read Gail's blog inspired me to post these things.. to be honest about what i really think and feel.. especially about God. Gail... too bad i never got to know this gal back in hs.. but after reading her blogs and friendster posts... i think she's an amazing person.. really. Bone painted the world at 11:59 PM | |
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because if you choose silence, people take advantage of you.
because if you dont speak, they will tell lies. because if you dont care and simply live life, they make up stories. because if you are loved, others will bring you down.
sometimes, you need a place you can call your own. where all you see and hear is the truth. a place where you see colors instead of just black&white. a happy place. home.
