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joel sison think about this
"There are somethings that are nothing more than what they are. They're not meant to last. They just take their place in your heart and make you a little smarter the next time." -Alex and Emma use that mouse
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(c) 2006
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Saturday, June 25, 2005
been to tagaytay yesterday.. i always thought of it as a romantic place.. but yesterday, i discovered the mundane part of it. ack! where is the bone who appreciates even the simplest entity?? if you happen to find her, let me know... but in fairness to those i was with yesterday, i had fun (temporary bliss).. the boating.. the trekking.. the dinner.. picture taking.. horse back riding.. praying.. i enjoyed everything.. ah no, i hated that i missed lunch. i was so dead hungry since around 9 am and we ate at prolly around 2 pm already. god, i thought i was going to die right then and there. whew! ako pa man lang din, alaskahin mo na ko ng alaskahin, i wont get pikon.. wag lang akong malilipasan ng gutom.. otherwise, the mischievous sprite in me awakens. hayayay.. im thankful for everyone i was with during my latest tagaytay trip.. but there are four people whom i think have been quite exceptional: connie, who held my hands when my oxygen supply was literally depleting.. duds, who did just the same. hes such a sweetie.. him and mel, who never left my side and listened to me when i instructed to forget everything and just enjoy the horse ride and trusted me when i said "akong bahala sayo".. and of course, moski, who made me laugh almost until i already forgot how to breathe.. for doing most of the driving even if he was already tired and sleepy.. and of course, for taking care of my fathers most precious van. hehe. ... in an instant, my happiness vanished. ive been frowning for two days now. as if i have to force myself smile. to laugh at silly jokes suddenly requires too much effort on my part. whatever the reason, i cannot disclose here. i choose not to tell anyone what is causing my wretchedness. but please allow me to vent how i feel. i am feeling lonely. no more in high spirits. and this disappoints me big time. i so want to once again find the ecstasy i once had... the kind of exhilaration i was holding just the other day.. the other week.. a few days ago.. unending bliss.. hayyy.. its so hard to find. ... warning: never underestimate the great bone. never.. i repeat, NEVER tell me what i can and cannot do coz you dont even know me. you are not me. **umuusok ang ilong ko** now, give me something to drink.. a cigarette to light (i dont smoke). ... what bone wants, bone gets.. otherwise.. beware. and oh, never make me jealous, youll regret it. yes, im a BRAT. so laban ka? haha. **nadudurog ang puso.. habang umuusok ang ilong.** bad bone. ... galit ako sayo. i hate you. you hurt me big time. bleh! if i cant even look straight into your eyes, then its you im talking with. lets talk no more. **scream** ... thank god for the wonderful massage i got tonight. hayy... Bone painted the world at 9:36 PM |
Thursday, June 23, 2005
happy fathers day to all the daddyS out there including your dads. i know its a bit late but, as they say, better late than never. so there. my family didnt get to celebrate fathers day. my dad had a meeting then. imagine, meeting on a sunday?? gawd, it annoyed me a little. pero naawa talaga ko sa daddy ko. he really wants to retire already but destiny wouldnt side with him. his superiors want him to absorb 2 more offices -- one in makati and another in cavite. his current office is in marikina. so hows he going to handle all three? that i do not know. the thing is, its gonna be so stressful for him and its not going to be well compensated as there would be no raise in his salary. i told him to refuse na lang, but he cant. if he doesnt absorb the 2 offices, his superiors will close them. if they close the offices, it would mean unemployment for those who are currently working there. so my dad really has no choice. hayy.... during the meeting though, my dad was able to sneak out for at least 3 hours or so. haha. at least, we were able to watch batman begins. okay na yun, at least nagkasamasama pa rin kami ng family ko minus my mother who is currently in canada. im touched coz even if K and i arent a couple already, he still doesnt fail to check out on my dad. lagi pa rin nyang kinakamusta. and wow, i never heard him say i look like kyla until this morning. haha. everyone's saying that i resemble kyla even before pa, but he never agreed nor disagreed. as in NR lang. but a while ago, he told me he has an officemate who reminds him of me everyday. "parehong kamukha nyo si kyla," sabi nya. ewan ha, but i asked my brother, sabi nya, yung mga nagsasabing kamukha ko si kyla, nambobola lang daw yung mga yun. K is being extra weird lately. giving me a ring whenever he can. asking me out. total weirdo. he even made me promise na kumain daw kami sa dampa by the end of june. malamang kasi payday. "just say yes, please" daw. haha. actually, he didnt have to beg. i never say no to him. and he knows that. gusto pa nya, mag-joyride pa kami sa south today! hello!?! weirdo talaga. he said i made his day. because i made him laugh. yun lang. but whats really nice about our post-relationship situation is that, he still chooses me as his confidant. i still retain the huh-wala-ka-nang-babalikan treatment minsan though. i have to be strong. otherwise, i might fall again. falling in love with him. again. thats the last thing i need. really. im uber-happy. and its only now that im already having peace of mind. K himself could see that in me. but i still have him to thank for. he has changed me in different ways. he taught me a lot of things. so K, if youre reading this, thank you. but of course, he already knows that. nasabi ko na yan at marami pang iba. although, there are some things that are better left unsaid. Bone painted the world at 1:45 PM |
Friday, June 17, 2005
im so broke but happy.. here's why.. june 10 recipes, greenbelt   june 15 tapika, katipunan 
Bone painted the world at 4:37 PM|
Thursday, June 09, 2005
its been quite a long time since my last post. my apologies. my reason is the usual "im busy." lol. although my duties start at ten in the morning, i always force myself to wake up five in the morning everyday.. the result is that im always sleepy the whole day. as soon as i get home, i automatically crawl under my blanket and snooze or just close my eyes until dinner time.. and i normally oblige myself to sleep an hour or so after dinner since i wish to wake up early. take note, its just me who set up my waking and sleeping hours. i am trying to learn being a morning person. i feel that i have already wasted too much mornings of my life. the sad part is that now, i am starting to waste mcuh of my afternoons, since i always end up being sleepy in the afternoon and the remedy, of course, is to sleep! ay sus. my mornings have been full of adventures lately. thanks to my new friend, B. the usual me doesnt want to be talked to when i just woke up until i make the initiative to start a conversation. but my new friend somehow manages to get through me each morning. im still wondering how B manages to do it. i have lots of new friends. yipee! i still havent figured who are real and who among them intend to stay for a long time. but im grateful for having them. they always make me laugh almost every minute of my life. im starting to get attached. the normal bone is always afraid of being attached, but this time, i dont care. what is important right now is that i am happy. i am starting to learn to appreciate every little things in my life, mornings are included. walking our dog, who's almost bigger than me. 5-peso coins. MYMP and other local bands (except that im really addicted to Juris and Chin since the day i bought their cds). mcdo. KFC. TeeJay (im also rediscovering my love for driving). veggies. myself. and many more. the one that comes before "and many more," i think is the most important. because i am learning to be happy with every pump my heart does, i will treat myself on the 15th. will watch MYMP with my new friends. oh, ill be reuniting with some of my old friends from college tomorrow night, too. hmm.. to those who are waiting for an update regarding my weird desire for chicken pet, i brought home 4 live fowls last sunday. and guess what... we already ate 3 of them! will be posting their pictures later. although my brother's friend, A, said he's gonna give me a fighting cock, i suddenly had a change of heart. our family friend (the one who took away my old ride from me!), promised that he'll give me a turkey. do you think turkey is better than chicken? but hey, if A will really give me a fighting cock, why not? ill gladly accept it. do you know what i've last learned about chicks? they get chicken pox, too! is that why they call it chicken pox??? you'll probably be amazed to know too that round pepper is used on them to treat their chicken pox. people extract the 'boils' until they bleed then use the pepper as patch or something. of course, aside from pepper, there's also real meds for chick's chicken pox. i just heard all these from A, dont know if there are true. weekend is near so... HAPPY WEEKEND, everyone. Bone painted the world at 9:02 AM |
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
i got myself a 3-day off. thank god. but now, i have got nothing else to do but watch the telly, listen to the radio, eat or submit myself to the internet.. i have been a total couch potato for two days (this is just my second day).. but im not comlaining, you know. this is actually the kind of life ive been wanting to have. it may be boring to some, but for me, its super! my supposed-to-be-flatmate, lara, is going to kill me. she's in the states right now and she'll be back on the 7th. she's expecting that ive already settled in our new unit.. well, i actually payed for the down.. and the admin is already waiting for me to transfer... thing is, i just got my new schedule for the next semester and turns out, i wont be needing to move out after all. my new hospital will just be near our house plus i wont be having any classes on thursdays, fridays, and saturdays.. so what's the need to rent a flat near the school, right?? at first, my dad freaked out and reminded me that i already gave the downpayment and all that.. but after hearing my explanations, he had to agree with me... the next thing that i did was to inform lara.. shoot!! she's literally in panic.. not to mention, mad at me! "bone, ayos na lahat eh!! na-plano na natin to eh! nakakainis naman eh. wala akong matitirhan pagbalik ko," she kept telling me. true. she has nowhere else to go except for the flat we're supposed to be living in. she can't move there by herself. why not? ask her. i offered my place for free but she declined. i was actually thinkin to sacrifice instead and live there until she finally gets someone else to live with her but its going to be costly on my part considering that if ever, i will just be staying there 3 days a week and i will still have to bring a car with me since my new hospital will be soooo far far away from there... BUT THEN, i figured ive been very very selfless my entire life... and its about time that i let myself be on top of my priorities.. i owe this to myself.... my closest friends are, of course, on my side.. before, my friends used to tell me "maging selfish ka naman minsan." i think, now is the time.. ito na siguro yung minsan na sinasabi nila. but how come it doesn't feel right?? guilt is all over me.. but if i choose to transfer (just to make lara happy), it would be so dragging for me and i would be wasting a lot of my money.. and my father's money.. and then it would surely make me more guilty..... and ugly! question: what to do when you like someone and that someone is NOT even interested in you? or when someone seems interested in you but you just dont feel the same way? on a happy note, i will be reuniting with my blockmates on june 10. yipee!! some are still in school but most of them are already working slaves. haha. i so can't wait.. hooray, lc20!! i will be going to the province this weekend. out of town. away from the busy districts of metro manila...hope ill have a good time. i swear i will be bringing home a live chicken. and then my brother's friend said he's going to give me one, too! i keep bugging him to give me at least one live chicken. do you think fowls of this kind will make a good pet?? hmm.. shai, thanks for the plugs. Bone painted the world at 2:53 PM | |
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because if you choose silence, people take advantage of you.
because if you dont speak, they will tell lies. because if you dont care and simply live life, they make up stories. because if you are loved, others will bring you down.
sometimes, you need a place you can call your own. where all you see and hear is the truth. a place where you see colors instead of just black&white. a happy place. home.
