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the blog
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joel sison think about this
"There are somethings that are nothing more than what they are. They're not meant to last. They just take their place in your heart and make you a little smarter the next time." -Alex and Emma use that mouse
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thanks to..
(c) 2006
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Saturday, February 25, 2006
when you realize you havent done anything but to make someone happy.. or to help someone find happiness no matter how humbug he or she is, you really have got nothing to worry. when you dont feel anger at all for having received what you do not deserve, you will see your worth. when youre major major major merry, nothing and noone can ever ruin you and your day. lets all feel the bliss.. SMILE. KISS. HUG. LAUGH. i just did. FEEL GOOD. Bone painted the world at 4:20 AM |
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
goodness, im feeling better (again!). i hope this time it lasts longer. hehe. thank you, thank you.. thank you, lord! =) Bone painted the world at 2:27 PM |
Saturday, February 18, 2006
now, it isnt just my heart thats bruised.. look:  i woke up this morning feeling rather disappointed. im still alive. sigh. although last night was fun, as duds said it would be. euro star definitely helped me survive another night. but every time the screaming fades, i could hear my heart breaking. no matter how much i enjoyed the carnival and the company of some friends, nothing made me forget about what is bothering me... but i dont wanna bore you with my depression. we should discuss the famous Euro Star Carnival.... i should mention that before i went there, i first googled it to help me decide whether or not i should go.. coz, it was supposed to be a post-valentine surprise for that someone.. i had it planned for over a week.. then poof! gone. i ended up being with other friends instead. anyways.... there's no point mentioning things that didnt even occur. just like not having to mention in the newspaper those millions of people who didnt win the lottery so there.. most of the search results led me to blog sites. bloggers unanimously have claimed all rides to be death-defying.. and some even say there's this one ride thats definitely life-changing. well.. let see.. BOOSTER this was my first ride. its major fun.. except that im so tiny that my body practically went "everywhere.." it hit everything it can. it was physically painful on my part. but being on this ride.. damn. it made me want to be the wind.. no, its safer to say this: it felt heaven that i just had to close my eyes and just savor the moment. but isnt it that even with eyes closed, you can still see some light? it was beautiful.. although afterwards, it somehow made me feel a little wobbly.. still, it was beautiful. FLIPPER my second ride. the minute it began, i just started laughing. really, the ride is funny. nakakahilo nga lang.. but it was partly my fault coz my eyes were open. this one was not at all scary so if youre a bit lily-livered, this ride wont be a problem at all. you can do this one. trust me. BUMP CAR aha! as a kid, i was never a fan of bump cars.. coz i always ended up being stuck. but now that i can drive already, ive learned to enjoy these things!! and i just lurve bumping here and there then being able to "escape.." its lovelier to speed first then target a friend to bump with.. and then you both laugh.. the kids now are better than during my time. so beware of them.. hehe oooh, i love it. FLUME WATER.. erm.. i dont remember how its exactly called. this one's similar to EK's Log Jam. it wasnt as terrifying as the other rides.. actually, it was NOT terrifying at all. but it felt good every time the water splashed. we had this for like more than 10 times maybe.. i dont know, i didnt count.. but every time my friends and i got tired, we just headed there or to the bump cars to rest and still have fun.. but we also tried the ferris wheel and carousel for relaxation.. FERRIS WHEEL damn was it huge! here, youre allowed to ride without emptying your pockets.. you will not be asked to leave everything in the baskets provided for your belongings.. this means, here, you'll have a chance to take picture-picture! CAROUSEL okay, i regret having ridden this thing. it just made me dizzy. but then again, pwede ulit mag-picture- picture dito. so masaya na din. RANGER definitely one of the best rides. everyone says its similar to EK's Anchors Away (siguro kasi boat din yung design) except that it makes a 360-degree turn.. so there are literally "upside-down" moments.. one helluva ride.. but personally, i found this milder as compared to the other rides. pwdeng ulit-ulitin. ranger and booster are actually my favorites! JOKER no comment, i was such a loser.. a chicken! i didnt try this one.. it could accomodate only up to 8 people.. and the ride is very "open" so it scared me to bits. now, you can laugh. hehe. according to my friends who tried it: "masarap." ill try to go back on or before the 28th and hopefully by then i already have the nerves to try this one out. HOUSE OF HORROR if your companions arent fun to be with, then you'll find this lousy. remember the horror booths you had during your high school fairs?? those are more frightening. euro's house of horror will not at all scare you unless you and your buddies start scaring each other. you have to trick your mind to feel the "horror" and be scared.. then scream a bit, too. and laugh out loud. me and my friends had fun doing this. it lasted prolly for less than two minutes but i must have laughed a lil too much coz when i got out of the house, my abdominal muscles were hurting as if ive done 300 crunches! haha, just exaggerating of course. GAME BOOTHS before leaving the carnival, you should at least play some games. my friends and i had so much fun laughing at each others stupidities and all that. we were lucky, the people who were supposed to be just passing by decided to watch and laugh at/with us, too.. after watching, perhaps they thought we were so silly for not winning at all so they ended up buying tokens for themselves and decided to show us how it is really done.. aha! they just gave us the chance to laugh back at them. boohoo!! fun, fun, fun! there were other rides, too.. particularly for the kids.. they have a tiny version of EK's Flying Fiesta and Anchor's Away but only for the kiddos.. i wanted to try them out but but but.. maybe next time. if there'll be a next time. here are some pictures:  he said its going to be fun.. heck, it was more than fun!  [clockwise] 1. marlyn, pinks, con, & bone after having survived the Ranger with two staffs -- i could send this to fhm! 2. bone, pinks, con and marlyn after the booster ride. 3. thats me with my signature pose, i looked rather wasted though 4. pinks and i while duds try to capture how "high" we were. [not in pictures are duds and moski]
Bone painted the world at 1:47 PM |
Friday, February 17, 2006
someone died.. and i feel major devastated. i am crying when i know i shouldnt. why do people die when they know its going to be painful to those they love and its much much more hurtful to those who love them. why does it seem so easy for them to leave just like that? why are people headed to death the minute they are borne. why be given the chance to taste life when its not even going to be happy? silly. ironic. coz i was on my way home when i received the message. i was driving. bitter and quite depressed. i saw a truck driven recklessly.. i considered rushing toward the thing. i was looking for death, so when i found a full-size vehicle beating the red light, i thought of it as a chance. then my phone rang. and i had to give up that chance. someone died. i looked up and truck was gone. why someone else? it could have been me instead. it should have been me. then i went to yen. i found out she's been in a car accident herself and almost died. so i asked myself again, why her? why not me? someone should teach death proper manners. why does it show up to people who are not even looking for it? why does it shy away from people who have been waiting for it for so long? ive managed to pull up some bucks for him and me (there's no "us."). ive had plans for this evening. i was positive its going to be fun. a relief from the monotomy of his work and heartaches. and i needed some fun too. so its supposed be what he and i exactly needed -- FUN. looks like that word was never invented for me, or at least not at the moment. ha! well, at least ill still be pushing through with my plans.. except that it'll be with someone else instead. now, that isnt fun. but friends promised me its going to be. sigh. [click here] and of course, i should be going to the wake.. not that i have to but i want to. why wont you all just shoot me in the head???? go on, ive already sent my last two messages the other night. one says thank you. ive been here before. and id like to believe ill get over this phase, maybe not now.. but soon. it'll come.. ah yes, i still havent escaped from quarterlife crisis. pity. but dont you worry. this is how manic-depressives live. one moment, we're euphoric and then we become sad. before you knw it, we're back to elated mode again. haha. im not crazy, you fool! kulang lang sa dasal! :P Bone painted the world at 10:00 AM |
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Tumatalon- talon ang puso ko Pag ika'y kasama Naririnig pa rin ang boses mo Kahit ika'y wala na Ilang oras pa ba, ilang taon pa ba Ako maghihintay sa 'yo Lumilipad-lipad ang isip ko Pag ika'y kasama Naririnig pa rin ang boses mo Kahit di ka kasama Ilang oras pa ba, ilang taon pa ba Ako maghihintay sa 'yo Bakit ba ikaw ang nauna Sana panahon nati'y nagkatugma Paano na kaya? Ayoko ko na sanang maghintay Turing mo sa 'kin, ay isang musmos Isang bata its true, i guess, that love can transform you into an individual you never expect to be. but what is love anyway? to be honest, i dont know either. who cares what it is when it will let you know when its there. dont confuse it with infatuation though. neither with lust. although an old professor of mine once told me that love and lust sometimes go together. i wont tell where i stand. whatever love is, id like to think that its a nice feeling. i have questioned it many times -- whether true love exists or not. but i dont care at the moment. love simply is. it makes you contented just staring at that someone while he's asleep. it leaves you a happy feeling after youve made his bed, or after youve served him with food, or after youve poured water into his glass, or after youve cleaned up the mess he's made, or after washing the dishes for him. when you finally see that someone you truly care for, you instantly forget that youve had a tough day or that youve driven for miles and had been stuck in a jam for hours. you forget that youre tired or that you havent had enough sleep yet. youre just glad that at last, you are spending some time with him. love creates a person who strives nothing but to be the best. it will make a girl study smart and work hard. it could even rekindle her faith in Him and make her go back to church. it makes you think of your future. it gives you direction. it makes you want to learn. it makes a forgetful lady remember. it teaches one to enjoy life. it helps you control your temper. it teaches you to appreciate the simplest things -- your family, your friends, the geeky stuffs, the virus that used to bug you and your internet life, the computer breakdowns that completely destroy your most important files, the coffee that never failed to give you tremors, the vitamin c that has been stored for ages in your medicine box, the PDA youve ignored for years, the koreanovelas youve never attempted to see, the songs you never wanted to hear nor sing, the mellowdramatic movies about love you never dared to watch, the boutique youve never checked out, the book you never thought you'd read, the foods around the corner. it makes you laugh even at the corniest jokes. it makes you ignore the fact that you have no talent at all -- it makes you crave to sing or dance for that someone.. it wouldnt matter to you even if you cant even carry a tune or that it will just make you look stupid. heck, it will even make you want to play the quitar even if you dont know how. it will make one hungry for music and that someone. yes, love is wonderful but it hurts too. big time. it makes you promise never to do anything that could hurt that special someone but you yourself end up being hurt. it makes you wanna do things you dont normally do. even if you know for a fact that you dont have to do anything to make him love you cause if he loves you, he simply does. and if he doesnt, then he doesn't. thats the way it is. it makes you give even if you have no more to give, putting aside the fact that youre not going to receive anything in return. it makes you realize your worth but you suddenly forget about the standards you have once set. all you desire is for the one you love to be happy... but you.. you end up crying, for the same reason that has made you feel euphoric. you tell yourself not to wait forever but undeniably, you are still waiting. you decide to cure his wounds, but when he's finally done grieving and no longer needs you, you become lost. you forget that you just wanted to help and youre confused whether or not to let go. all you can do is just close your eyes and wish. love. whether it makes you feel good or sad, it definitely makes one a better person. i still havent figured if its really love but im still thankful for having been reminded of at least how it feels. So you're down there... Confused, you can't bear.. When things aren't easy, hiding is not the answer.. Anxiety, then faithless you'll be.. Just fall on me.. there's no other answer.. I'll catch you just fall on me... Hear me now, hear my voice, speaking the words of love.. Betrayed and died.. How lucky you are.. Just open your eyes and see.. I'm tired, free me, pick me up from this mess I made ..hear me.. Reach me by your hand and ease me.. There's no other answer.. I'll catch you just fall on me... Bone painted the world at 8:19 PM |
Sunday, February 05, 2006
oh god, i just realized i am sooo not good with things that require timing. good thing going with the flow works too. but not all the time, of course.. especially when youre trying to learn how to play the guitar. geez.. Bone painted the world at 4:46 PM |
Thursday, February 02, 2006
im so weird.. i like this but like this, like that... and oh, i still couldnt figure where i am exactly. i want to say something but then.. never mind.. i am sooo tempted to complain but i cant help but enojy life instead. haha. am i making sense? uhuh, told ya im weird. Bone painted the world at 12:47 AM | |
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because if you choose silence, people take advantage of you.
because if you dont speak, they will tell lies. because if you dont care and simply live life, they make up stories. because if you are loved, others will bring you down.
sometimes, you need a place you can call your own. where all you see and hear is the truth. a place where you see colors instead of just black&white. a happy place. home.
