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joel sison think about this
"There are somethings that are nothing more than what they are. They're not meant to last. They just take their place in your heart and make you a little smarter the next time." -Alex and Emma use that mouse
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(c) 2006
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Saturday, April 30, 2005
i lost Manuel. im heartbroken.. AGAIN. i feel so incapable. and its driving my dad crazy.. last tuesday, someone saw Manuel.. and instantly fell in love with him. without hesitations, that someone, took him immediately away from me. and i didnt do anything about it. at first i thought it would be cool. i wanted everything old in my life to be gone.. as i wanted to start anew.. so i thought it was okay to discard manuel.. i was thinking id be able to find a replacement.. better than him. but since he's been gone, i could no longer function as usual. i could no longer carry on with my typical tasks and all that. it bothered my father so much. it made him worry to bits that he'd always request his driver to drive me to my destinations and pick me up at the train station every time. it sucks that as if i can no longer do my things on my own.. i couldnt commute because my mind is always wandering.. and perhaps, i have become the most stupid person alive. its just that ive been so used to having manuel around. oh, the comfort he brings every time we're together is so.... ah, no words can explain. i thought id be fine without him.. but it has been less than a week since he left and i already miss having him.. terribly. i tried to search for the "replacement" i always dreamt of.. but to my despair, i couldn't find that one.. or least one that is better than manuel. ill keep searching.. until my eyes find THE ONE. but until then, i just have to deal with this kind of life.. the life of a commuter!! yup, manuel is the 4runner ive been driving before i could even get a license and until last monday, when a friend of mine decided to buy it the next day. ugh, i want manuel back!!! Bone painted the world at 11:38 AM |
Thursday, April 21, 2005
sorry, i cant think of better thing(s) to post.. [ya, right.. as if ive been making sense all this time. LOL.] ive been very busy lately.. imagine, i have to work my butt from 6am to 2pm at the hospital then proceed to the school for my 3pm class. yup, im becoming one helluva workaholic. but im liking it. at least, i no longer have time to dwell on things that dont really matter but piss me off big time. haha. for now, let me present to you another scenario from the hospital: i heard one of the clinical instructors of Ospital ng Maynila saying this a while ago to a student nurse: "magpalit ka na ng pasyente [na handle].. baka magkaron ka na ng emotional attachment dun sa pasyente mo eh.." haa.. no comment.. but do you get why im writing what she said? i mean, so what if a student nurse creates a connection with his/her patient? ...... this blog thingy is really the trend now, eh? hayy.. had i known, i could have kept my first one na lang.. but nah, can't complain.. im home now.. blogspot is the best blog so far.. at least for me. but i think i kinda like how people are starting to express themselves through blogs.. at least we are able to somehow see through them.. and we always learn something from our fellow bloggers..right?? and blogs have become sort of a therapy to some people. so i guess, the growing blog community is not a bad thing. ...... its duart's bday today. russ reminded me through SMS.. she does that every year. she's really sweet, isnt she? i miss duart and kaye. [NOTE: they are and were NOT romantically connected, okay?] too bad, she doesnt update her blog anymore. but she's really one of those people who first introduced me to these blog thingies... oh, i miss aimee, too.. and my other philo classmates.. its really fun spending time with them. they always have something to share -- be it senseless or not. philosophers nga eh. ....... i sold my other phone today. it wasnt planned, actually. but my friend wanted to buy it.. so there. now, im planning to dispose my sun sim. its no use having that anyway.. always hard to get through lines.. delayed messages.. poor signal.. whatever problems na maisip pa, nasa sun na siguro. haha. oh, the other day, i finally got the courage to clean up my inbox!! does that happen to you also?? when someone you think is special texts you, its so hard to delete his/her message.. even if the message is just as plain as "Ok." or "Miss u." just a forwarded sweet quote [which he/she never meant.].. ya, like that.. tell me it happens to other people, too. haha. okay, im crazy.. but hey, i already erased everything. i told you im moving on! haha. ah, this certain guy even rang my phone. but sorry, i dont know him anymore. LOL. finally, bahala na si God sa 'kin. ..... LAST NA TALAGA.. new answers for new questions.. to view, click here. Bone painted the world at 7:33 PM |
Sunday, April 17, 2005
yup, new layout (again).. let me explain. 1. still pink to retain yung pagka-girl-ish. 2. white background to symbolize new beginning and simplicity. so whats with the "new beginning and simplicity" thingy?? yesterday wasn't a good day for me.. but i decided not to dwell on what caused my mysery anymore. i choose to start a new life.. new beginning with pure heart and peace of mind. never mind the person whose hobby is making me sad or whatever. i have other things to think about -- things that are more valuable and deserving of my attention, right? and yes, if you could just refer to my previous post, i wrote this: "im leaving you, fool!" i mean it. i want a new life -- a life that is thiscertainguy-free.. hence, i will no longer communicate with him through whatever means. in connection with this, i will be changing my cell. number soon (i hope!) and will not and NEVER notify him about it. as in, bahala sya! finders keepers. LOL. [russ, il text you my new number pag meron na..] believe me, i am already feeling better. im still thinking as to where i could insert my photo in this new template.. yes, i am vain. ;p ......... my brother already checked out the sites ive linked in my previous post. he was really thrilled knowing that his WWE idol's nationality is in fact filipino-greek. my brother is such a gift from God. yesterday, he saved me from insanity. he met up with me at the mall and we watched a movie together. i watched vin diesel's the pacifier again coz bro hasn't seen it yet. i wanted to watch samara but it's his treat so i thought we should see a movie of his choice. ......... i received an email from my tita: "he [refering to my dad's father] is okay considering that he has a long standing renal failure. he's not better but hanging in there... he's sicker and older.. let's be accepting... but let's pray for His mercy and graces..." please please please pray with us. i beg all of you to please pray for my papang, our favorite lolo. ........ my dad's auntie is an insulin dependent diabetic. hence, her immune system is way weaker than any of us. she is in the hospital right now due to suspected pneumonia. lab results show that her hemoglobin is really, really low and that her kidneys are also affected. as a result, her creatinine level has significantly increased. its all abnormal. ct scan results will be released tomorrow. let's all hope its negative. still, my other lola, her sister, said that she's really getting weak. so, again, im asking you all a favor.. please please pray for my lola. lets altogether pray for all the sick people around the world and for His grace and mercy. EDIT my dad texted me this morning saying that our lola, her auntie, already received a may-go-home order from her doctor. she will be released from the hospital tomorrow... god willing.. to those who have prayed with us for her recovery, THANKS SO MUCH. also, to all the health care providers and personnels of the AFP memorial medical whatever a.k.a v. luna hospital, thank you all so much for taking care of our lola. god bless. /EDIT Bone painted the world at 7:27 AM |
Saturday, April 16, 2005
ay sus. some guys are really dense.. yea, as in stupid, thick, slow..! hmp. sila nga ba talaga o us, girls?? or maybe just this one particular guy.. ya, just him! im really annoyed.. ah no, lost. i'll edit this later for the details.. i just wanted to vent how i feel at the moment. i couldnt tell my friends about this yet.. coz they are also having extremely rough time with their own love stories. and hello, (could you believe this?)its actually from me that they draw some of the strength whatsoever that they currently need...seriously.. i need to breathe in.. breathe out.. there.. im feeling a little better.. thank you. aaahh!!! that's it. im leaving you, fool!! :p im heading to the mall.. i dont need to be this miserable. tsk. breathe in.. breathe out.. there.. im feeling a little better. thank you [again].  .............. brother, this is for you. better check it out. [thanks to kai.] if youre not satisfied with that, then head to batista's site. Bone painted the world at 4:17 PM |
Thursday, April 14, 2005
do you hate your eyes? because it's not blue or green?? or is it because your lashes are too short?? or maybe because your eyes are either too big or too small?? or maybe because you're not chinita and your ultimate crush adores chinitaS?? me? nah, i don't hate my eyes just because they don't have the color or shape that most guys die for or whatever.. but sometimes i do hate my eyes for being so honest all the time.. damn. they don't lie. and no matter how much i try to conceal my emotions, they just reveal what i truly feel inside.. but thank God, naimbento ang shades!! EDIT i met up with someone today.. thought me some parking techniques.. walked.. talked.. ate lunch together.. we usually dont last being together for at least 5 mins without "fighting".. but 5 mins elapsed.. then 20 mins... 2 hours.. no mosh pit (haha) happened. everything went smoothly until i decided to take off my shades.. gawd, my eyes embarass me talaga.. i hope he didn't notice.. wish ko lang, hindi na naman binuko ng mga mata ko yung secret ko. hayayay. /EDIT .... someone asked me this, "do u still dance?".. hayy.. i so miss dancing.. it used to be my life.. to view my answer, go here. Bone painted the world at 12:16 AM |
Sunday, April 10, 2005
random thoughts about love (or the lack of it).. never talk about what you can or cannot do for love until you've really, really found TRUE love... once you've found true love, never let go.. love.. its been one of the oldest topics of novels, poems, and even blogs.. but what triggered me to talk about it again?? Baron Geisler.. haha.. im just kidding.. but you see, ive read in a newspaper (manila bulletin, i think) that jodi sta maria got married already.. and that baron cried as soon as he found out about it.. it turns out that the guy promised the actress/host that he'll come back to her and marry her after 10 years. he just needed to prepare himself. fool! i really feel for him.. but sometimes, destiny comes in the way.. sometimes, no matter how people love each other, they're just not meant.. which is why, sometimes i think love is a gamble.. if you're lucky, your love is reciprocated.. but its not always like that.. in love, you invest so much emotions, time and effort only to end up being hurt.. or sometimes you choose not to embrace love because of fear of getting rejected or hurt.. but still end up being heartbroken.. nothing is really sure in love, isn't it?? no matter what you choose, one way or another, you get hurt... lucky for those who are able to find someone else,, for those who are able to recover.. to move on and maybe, forget.. pity are those who cant seem to find a way to get out of the trap. the truth is, the article about baron crying over jodi's marriage reminded me of 2 people.. the 1st person is someone who refused and let go of true love.. the other one, someone who just can't forget.. i just hope that the former will not regret letting go of true love. and when the time that he decides to embrace that love, i hope that the latter hasn't got out of the trap yet.. but most of the time, i wish otherwise... i want her so bad to move on and forget already.. to have someone else beside her.. someone who'll treat her right.. see her worth!! actually, i wish them both a happy ending.. as my friend says, IF IT'S NOT HAPPY, THEN IT'S NOT THE END YET. Bone painted the world at 2:05 AM |
Friday, April 08, 2005
do NOT laugh at me.. argh. i have never been a fan of korean drama.. and no, not even filipino telenovelas.. just the other night, i was talking with my friend, anne.. we asked each other whether or not we watch dramas like Stairway to Heaven, Save the Last Dance for me, Full HOuse, etc.. and we were sooOoo laughing at the thought of how others have become soo addicted to these shows.. hayy.. we were like, "gawd, i'd rather sleep than watch those series!" one time, a friend of mine all of a sudden commented that, "ang ganda ng Save the Last Dance noh?" and the dance fanatic in me immediately replied, "oo noh! sobrang gusto ko nun!! sobrang galing ng mga sayaw," referring to Julia Stiles' movie.. and my friend went like, "hindi, save the last dance for me.." dang. i wasnt able to relate anymore.. haha.. im really ignorant when it comes to telenovelas like that.. but one night, out of curiosity, i tried to watch full house.. okay, i only peeked! promise...! i THOUGHT it was funny though.. so last night, i tried watching it again.. i realized it was in fact funny!! hehe =) a while ago, i watched it again.. could it be that im starting to get addicted to it?? OMG!! nevertheless, i enjoy watching it.. even if 2 1/2 times pa lang.. i need a cure.. or better yet, cds of the korean flick so i could watch the entire series.. HAHA!! i wish im just joking.. Bone painted the world at 12:12 AM |
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
ahh.. i haven't blogged for quite some time, haven't i?? hehe.. it doesn't matter.. at least im already done with my thesis.. woohoo!!! i love writing theses for whatever reason.. haha.. i just hate the pressure of having a deadline.. but then again, i love writing theses!!! i know.. i know.. im so NOT a writer.. but come on, someone has to agree with me :) kahit 1 lang... parang awa nyo na.. hehe. i remember when i was taking up finama1. shit. i was usually absent. and whenever i hear the voice of my prof then, i was always reminded of Harry Potter's divination class (is that how it's called?? i totally forgot.).. soo funny.. basta, to make the story short, me always absent and getting either failing or passing grade.. alas! a DIVINE INTERVENTION happened.. my prof talked to me and asked me if i could make her thesis.. in return she'll give me a good grade!! whoa!! i wasn't able to resist. man, i hated the subject so much (the only COM subject i loved and love is accounting!!). i wanted an easy way out.. so yes, me and my friend (Cla!!) made a thesis for our finama1 prof.. =) i also had a great time doing my thesis for my philo degree.. (ehem ehem, yabang!) mr. leoncini, my mentor and advicer (and thesaurus), is such an angel.. i love him until now.. =) ahh.. defense will be on wednesday. kaya ko 'to... i HOPE!!! i wanna thank my best friend, she probably doesn't know this, but somehow she served my inspiration for this undertaking whatsoever =) and uber THANKS.. i WAS so afraid coz i thought we're drifting apart.. but heck, she is still my savior.. haha ΓΌ [maf, you know what i mean..] and cla, thanks also.. i know you wanted to help.. thanks for the thought.. really. *mwah* Bone painted the world at 12:00 AM | |
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because if you choose silence, people take advantage of you.
because if you dont speak, they will tell lies. because if you dont care and simply live life, they make up stories. because if you are loved, others will bring you down.
sometimes, you need a place you can call your own. where all you see and hear is the truth. a place where you see colors instead of just black&white. a happy place. home.
